Ethan Marcotte now blogs at Unstoppable Robot Ninja.

Weblog entry:

I love the smell of mediocrity in the morning

This scintillating little tidbit just came in from our UK news bureau. Confirming what those of us here in Inanity Central sidesh0w.com have known for ages, I am apparently a C-list blogger. At long last, that niggling little existential crisis has been settled: there are three tiers in the universe, and I have been firmly affixed ’pon the lowest one. My place in the cosmos finally established, I can now sleep easy.

The secret to my success, you say? Goodness, I say. Where to begin…well, I suppose I could share the following pearls with the three of you:

  1. Neglect your blog. People mistake infrequent postings for authority—after all, you must be too darned important to write. And as we all know, authority is power. And power is golden. And gold is the color of the key to the C-list.

    In summation: kneel before Zod, baby.

  2. Blog nothing but memes. Nothing says top shelf, C-list-worthy material like rehashing somebody else’s ideas. Remember, originality is your enemy.

    Hell, I just stole this whole post from Douglas Bowman’s archives. True story.

  3. Write all blog entries while listening to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. Don’t judge me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m stepping out for an afternoon of margaritas and mini golf with Kid ‘n’ Play, Sinbad, and Pauly Shore. Tonight, I shall celebrate my newfound C-listitude with a six-pack of Schlitz and some stale Doritos.

A good day to you.

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